From Japan to Jesus: A Father’s Return, A Fiancé’s Faith

Sitting here in a quiet park near my hotel, in the cool June air of Japan’s rainy season…

I lived in Japan from 2005 to 2023. I got married here to a Japanese woman, had two beautiful kids, and built a business and life. But God had different plans.

Now I’m engaged to Caroline, my fiancée back in Southern California. This trip was planned long before I met her back on November 26, 2024, the same night I started what’s now an international Bible study with over 10 Substack authors.

I came back to Japan hoping to reconnect with my kids. They love me (I know that) but the visit didn’t go how I imagined. It was awkward, distant. No warm embrace, no breakthroughs. Just long silences and glances that made my heart ache.

And yet… I’m still thankful.

It’s the same season—June 2005—when I first came to Japan. Nostalgia, revelation, and gratitude drift in and out of my heart today. I want to begin by thanking God for this experience.

Although this trip didn’t turn out how I pictured—no grand reconciliation with my kids, no once-in-a-lifetime sightseeing—the surface story doesn’t tell the full truth. At times, it’s felt like I’ve accomplished nothing: mostly staying in my hotel room, wandering nearby, lost in thoughts and emotions (never a good place to live long-term). But through prayer, and calloused knees to match a heavy heart, God has been meeting me in the quiet.

I’ve questioned everything.

Regretted leaving Caroline during such a crucial time of wedding planning.

Wondered what career I’ll step into when I return in two days.

And I’ve heard lies whisper:

• “You made things worse for your kids by coming.”

• “You abandoned Caroline when she needed you most.”

• “You’re a burden, not a blessing.”

I even broke down and cried openly in front of people I’m supposed to “lead.”

I felt ashamed.

I felt sorry for myself.

But then I remember who I am:

I’m His child. His beloved son.

And He gave His only Son to make me whole again. (John 3:16–17)

So tomorrow, I’ll wake up, pray, and stand in the gap—

For my kids.

For people here in Japan facing their own spiritual battles.

I’ll oppose every lie with Scripture. (2 Corinthians 10:4–5)

I don’t regret coming here—not at all.

I’m only grateful I had to relocate… to relocate Christ as my center.

Looking deeper, I see the good—Romans 8:28 good:

• My prayers are different now—heartbound, urgent, eternal.

• Caroline and I have reached new breakthroughs and a deeper dependence on God. She’s been my anchor, my encourager—reminding me Who’s truly in control, even when I fall short.

• I’m grateful for Ma and Jeff—my heart as a caregiver has softened. I focus more on gratitude than guilt now.

• I’ve shared the Gospel with a few people here. One man even threw a bottle at my feet (no injuries)—but it reminded me: if they hated our perfect Savior, how could I not share His love boldly? (John 15:18–20)

And then there’s you—this community (Born Again & Again Bible Study—I’ve already shared much of this with them—and also on Substack).

So many of you reached out with encouragement after our last Bible study. Thank you.

I have faith my kids are protected. They know the Good News.

And God’s even given me another son in this season—Samuel (Sam W. on Zoom)—a young man I’m growing closer to through faith, fitness, devotionals, and workout tips.

I get to be a father again.

When we find a house and make it a home…

Hallelujah.

I usually write with a focused theme. But today, I just want to say:

Thank You.

Thank You, Lord.

Thank you, brothers and sisters.

Thank you, Caroline, who is my quiet amusement park, always cheering for me behind the scenes with steadfast love.

I return to L.A. soon. It still feels far away. Every hour here can be a battle.

But I’m reminded:

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation… I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

— Philippians 4:12–13

It’s okay to cry.

To not bottle it up (ironic for someone who literally once bottled everything).

It’s okay to take life one breath, one prayer, one day at a time—with eyes fixed on Jesus.

Asking: What would He say, think, or do right now?

Thank you for your support, your prayers, and the way you love each other so well.

Even if I don’t know every bond being formed in our group or on Substack—God does.

And He’s building something beautiful.

Faithfully His, faithfully yours,

—Steven